


The Shorter, Angrier Bisexual

by sunlian



Category: Jade Empire
Genre: Gen, They’re Friends I Swear, Vitriolic Best Buds, this was inspired by a tumblr post and IF YOU FIND IT PLS TELL ME, watch me fill this fandom w my bad fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-02 18:25:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12731892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunlian/pseuds/sunlian
Summary: Sky has a theory, and enlists the help of Silk Fox to prove it. Silk Fox has no clue what he’s going on about.





	The Shorter, Angrier Bisexual

**Author's Note:**

> there’s about 12 whole people who care about jade empire but you know what? i love all of them. I love you guys
> 
> also this is so fucking dumb and you’ll tear sky and lian being friends (kinda) from my dead hands

Sky has a theory. It’s a theory he’s developed over his years of travelling, thieving, and, more recently, hunting down slavers and Lotus Assassins.

When people travel together, patterns emerge. A leader steps up, with their right hand man. There’s certain roles within these groups that individuals gradually fill. He’s watched it happen a few times, and he’s witnessed it happen with his current companions.  
His theory, however, isn’t about that. Rather, it’s a little more... personal. In a sense. Something he’s always joked about but occasionally caught himself wondering about a little bit more seriously.

It’s a theory he can’t prove on his own, however. But he thinks he knows who his best bet to help him is.

“So, I’m still not sure what to address you by-“

“What do you want, Sky.”

All things considered, Sky likes the newest addition to their little band, the woman in black who just happens to be the crown princess. She’s smart, resourceful and driven. And if his hunch is correct, the only other person in this merry band that can help him.

“Why do I have to want something? I’m genuinely uncertain as to what I’m supposed to call you.” Sky replies, holding up his hands in mock-surrender. The gesture is met with a dull look from his masked companion.

“You may call me Lian, as everyone else does.”

“Perfect,” he grins, moving around to sit in front of her, “though I’m fairly certain I’ve only ever heard our illustrious leader call you that.”

Lians’ expression turns into a full-blown scowl, brow furrowing and the bored look in her eyes turning... not hostile, but almost if Sky had poked a nerve. Irritated.

“Anyway, I don’t want anything, except to ask you a few questions.”

“I wasn’t aware that the palace gossipmongers had gotten so desperate as to hire thieves to accost and harass me.”

Sky brushes the comment off with a wave, “They couldn’t afford my asking price. Which is to say, they wouldn’t let me in to discuss said price.” Such was the nature of their conversations; banter and barbs traded back and forth. Sky enjoyed it, and it seemed that the princess was only really interested in holding conversation with people that could keep pace with her, or at the very least intrigued her.

She looks at him, irritation shifting to mild amusement, “A distainful and petty bunch, to be sure. How many is _‘a few’_ questions?”

“Really, just three, and then I’ll leave you alone.”

Lian takes a moment, as if she’s considering the idea, then gives a small shrug  
“It’s not like anything around camp demands my pressing attention. Ask away.”

Sky barely bites back a comment on that the only thing in the camp that ever really demands her attention is either messing with Dawn Star, or talking with Ling, and sometimes gently interrogating Zu, backing him into a metaphorical corner. (Sky has to admit; seeing a former Lotus Assassin fight a losing battle of words with someone half his age is rarely _not_ funny.)  
He bites it back, because he doesn’t want Lian on the defensive, unreceptive to his questions. At least not yet.

“So, Sun Lian, how tall are you?”

Lian blinks, “How tall am I? Why would you need to know that?” The princess cannot keep the surprise out of her voice, probably expecting a more probing or pervasive line of questioning; something Sky wasn’t really about. But, he can’t stop the quirk of his lips as he fights back a grin.

“I don’t need to, but I am curious.”

“Why? What do you gain from knowing this?”

This time, Sky can’t stop himself from grinning, “I have a theory, and I want to see if I’m correct.”

“And you need to know my height. To prove this theory,” Lians’ tone shifts again, deadpan and vaguely unimpressed.

“Exactly.”

Lian rolls her eyes and leans back with something akin to a sigh. Sky, in turn, leans forward slightly, unperturbed and still smiling slightly.

“You did already agree to answer my questions,” he says, the slightest teasing edge to the words.

“Yes yes, I know.”

“And they do say that-“

“That a princess is only as good as her word, yes, I know,” Lian snaps, before sighing again, in definite irritation, pinching the bridge of her nose, “I am five feet tall,” she relents, dragging the hand down her face before looking back at Sky.

It’s Sky’s turn to be surprised, eyebrows raising. It helps his theory, but...  
“Wow, I thought you were taller than that.”

“Well, I’m not.” Lian replies curtly, crossing her arms and straightening her posture. A little bit defensive about that, perhaps? Or maybe-

“I always thought it was because you always stand next to Ling, and she’s-“

“She’s nearly a foot taller than me, _yes_ , I am _aware of that,_ can you ask your next inane question?” Lian cuts him off, fixing him with a proper glare now, which Sky only smiles at.

“Actually, you’re kind of already answering it.”

Lian keeps glaring. Sky smiles wider.

“I was going to ask if you feel that you... tend to react to situations more aggressively the majority of the time.”

Oh, she really didn’t like that one. If Sky was a lesser man, or if Lian was a stranger, he’d most likely would’ve bolted by now. Or perhaps soiled himself, such was the force of the murderous intent behind her glare.  
Thankfully, he’s not, and he meets it with a chuckle, “in perhaps more simple terms, though I am sure I don’t need to use them; do you consider yourself an ‘angry’ person?”

 _“That,”_ Lian begins, the clarity of her voice carrying across a sharpness that betrays her mood, “Is an _incredibly inappropriate_ question to ask, Sky.”

“You’re right, you’re right. To be completely honest, I had already guessed the answer, but my evidence came from secondhand accounts,” and he absolutely cannot keep the teasing, slightly smug tone out of his voice. It’s all too good, and he’s likely to never to see her this pissed off again, “though if you thought that was inappropriate, I’m willing to chance a bet you’re not gonna like my next one.”

“Ask the question and be done with it, Sky,” she says with a harsh authority, “and then you will tell me what this incredible waste of my time was about.”

“Of course I will! I did involve you; it would be wrong of me to exclude you from the results.”

Sky clears his throat, and while he doubts Lian is so uncivilised to attack him while they’re sitting like this, he shifts, uncrossing his legs and leaning back on his hands. Just in case.

“Are you attracted to women, Lian?”

The glare is wiped from her face in an instant, replaced by an earnest expression of shock. Sky thinks that behind the mask, her jaw is thoroughly dropped. He’d like to think that anyways; a little ego boost, stunning the most unflappable person in the Empire into silence. In an instant however, it’s gone, replaced by a stony, impassive mask that guards her feature even more effectively then the black cloth across her face.

“I’m done here,” Lian says, rising to her feet effortlessly, turning on her heel and walking towards the entrance to the city. Sky stands as well, moving to follow her (at a distance, of course)

“Well okay, let me rephrase that-“ he begins, which at least makes her stop and turn to face him again, “Are you attracted to men?”

“I’ve never met one worth the time.” She all but spits at him, but he does kind of deserves that. He just needs this one last answer.

“In theory then?”

“Are you?”

“Yes,” Sky answers, without a pause or hesitation, a fact that causes the stony mask to crack ever so slightly, “and women. I like both. Usually not at the same time though; it’s not my kinda thing.”

Lian still isn’t exactly happy with him, and the attempt at humour doesn’t hit home, but she’s listening now, curiosity peeking through her measured expression.

“What I wanted to ask, even though I am pretty sure I know the answer, is- are you the same?”

Something Sky has never seen before crosses the princesses face, if but for a moment; uncertainty, something that isn’t quite fear but akin to it.

“I... yes. I would say, in that regard,” she puts stress on it, the “and in that regard only” is practically screaming though the subtext, “we are same.”

Sky grins, widely and properly. Lian visibly relaxed, though she raised a questioning eyebrow at him.  
“Now what was the point of all that?”

“I knew you were the shorter, angrier one!”

“The _**what-“**_

———————

“So, your theory is,” Dawn Star starts slowly, occasionally eying the especially dour princess, with apparent confusion but with the hint of a smile playing on her face, “is that wherever there is someone like you, there’s someone else like that?”

“A shorter, angrier one,” Sky corrects with obvious mirth, “watching and waiting.” He nods, like some great philosopher who’s just discovered some secret about the true nature of the human spirit. He even strokes at an invisible beard for effect.

Dawn Star giggles, hiding it behind her hand.  
“Well, I think that’s a very solid theory, based on the current evidence.”

“I’m glad you think so, because she certainly didn’t.”

Dawn Star giggles again, except it’s closer to a laugh this time, and Lian certainly hears it, because Sky can feel holes being burnt into the side of his head.

“Are you going to tell the others?”

“Oh, I don’t think they’d get it.”

“What about Ling? I think she’d find it enlightening.”

Sky is almost certain she would, but for a very different reason. He did entertain the idea, briefly, but reached a conclusion fairly quickly.

“Maybe, but I think she’d rather figure it out on her own.”


End file.
